High school can be tough for any teenager. It is a time for kids to start thinking independently and developing a sense of personal identity. For three students at Helias High School, a Catholic school in Jefferson City, Mo., this personal development has led to them identifying as atheists.

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Three students from Helias sat down to talk about what it’s like to be an atheist in a parochial school. 



Each semester, students are required to take a religion class. Blake Buthod and Bennett Renneir are juniors, so they have taken a morality class this year and are currently enrolled in a church history class. The morality class addresses certain issues and teaches students what the Catholic response to that issue would be. The third student, a female senior who did not want her name used, took a class that focuses on community service and volunteer work and is currently enrolled in an apologetics course. The apologetics course is aimed at dissecting arguments for Catholic beliefs and understanding the origins of the church teachings.



Jean Dietrich, the principal of Helias, declined to comment on these interviews with the students. Dietrich was previously interviewed for a story regarding how Helias and other private schools are dealing with an increase in the unaffiliated. During that interview, when asked about the presence of atheist students at Helias, Dietrich said, “If there are (any), they aren’t making an issue of it, so I don’t know. It doesn’t make sense for a student who says that to be here.”

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​Blake Buthod
Junior
Previously attended: St. Peter Interparish School, Jefferson City, Mo.

Derek: After developing questions about religion and studying your own beliefs, how did your view change of the way Catholic school was taught?

Blake: I never realized the bias that was there. I never thought that was something like religion would be slanted so that I would be more in tune with it. And now I see it everywhere at school.

D: If you could express your religious views through ideas instead of just labels, how would you describe that?

B: People ask me if I’m atheist or not. Well, yes, but I’m also Pantheist. The best way to describe it is I do not believe in a personal God, but I think the closest thing we have to one is the way nature has evolved through evolution and such. Basically, I think of God not so much as a noun, but a process.

D: Obviously you’ve done research on your view and know how to talk about it, but would you feel comfortable bringing these ideas up in class?

B: I would be comfortable if I didn’t feel like I would get backlash from the class. I feel extremely threatened at Helias, especially on issues like gay marriage. I’m pro gay marriage, I will get made fun of and arguments will be made.

D: Do you ever fear that you will get called into the office by the administration for questioning things?

B: They definitely will. Even simple things like hair color – they’ve called people in for that.

D: How many students at Helias do you think would fit in that atheist or agnostic category?

B: I’d say close to 20. There’s probably more than that, but some kids will never admit it. But those 20 are ones that have said and have [indicated] to me that they are. But I am probably one of the most vocal atheists.

D: You talked briefly before about your fear of getting called in to the office for your beliefs. Does that fear ever prevent you from speaking out?

B: Yeah, I would say it does on a daily basis. The record that I’ve seen with faculty of Helias with students that have been disruptive has definitely influenced me to not talk about it with faculty. Usually peer-to-peer contact is fine, but if a faculty member hears about it, there’s always a chance that’s going to spread, and that wouldn’t lead to good things. Even if they didn’t call me in, all the teachers who knew about it would view me differently.

 

​Bennett Rennier
Junior
Previously attended: Good Shepherd Lutheran School, Columbia, Mo.

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Derek: So did you go to a Catholic grade school?

Bennett: I went to a Lutheran grade school, although I’m not a Lutheran or even a Catholic. I went to GSLS, or Good Shepherd Lutheran School in Columbia, and then Trinity Lutheran, which I would not recommend to anybody. They’re still part of the Lutheran sect that actively teaches that evolution is wrong and give all this counter evidence.

D: What were some of the first indicators that you maybe weren’t religious?

B: When I was 7, I was given the choice to be baptized by the Baptist church, because they don’t baptize you until you reach the age of reason, which was 7. I remember when they gave me the sheet where you had to check off whether you wanted to be baptized or not, and I remember thinking that religion didn’t make any sense at all, and that I should postpone this until I get a little older. I saw all these older people who seemed to get it, so I thought if I waited a while, I would just get it, too. That never happened, and I never got baptized.

D: As far as academically, do you think there are things teachers could do to be more understanding of your position on religion?

B: Well, they don’t really ask any questions of the students, which I see as weird. I think even without the rise in number of religiously unaffiliated people, it would still be beneficial for them to ask questions and to get a conversation going on about it. But I don’t think there’s been much discussion about the issue.

D: What about in morality class, was there any discussion there?

B: No, not really. It was just more of, ‘Well here’s the Catholic church’s stance on abortion, gay rights, communism.’ We weren’t really given a chance to go into it, though.

D: What has influenced your ideas about religion?

B: I read a lot of books and they are the things that really influence my decisions on topics of such magnitude. A few examples of books I've read would be “The Case for a Creator,” by Strobel and “More Than a Carpenter” by McDowell, both of which are in support of Catholicism. I've also read many books against Christianity, such as “The God Delusion,” “The God Hypothesis,” and Hitchens’ book, “God Is Not Great.” The books that truly convinced me, though, were the philosophical ones, namely those written by Nietzsche, Descartes, Aristotle, Camus, Sartre, Kierkegaard and Heidegger.

D: Anything else you’d like to add?

B: Yeah, I could provide a little insight into the new Catholic school in Columbia, Father Tolton. I went there for the first semester of my sophomore year.

D: What was that like?

B: I loved their theology class a lot more [than Helias’]. There was a lot more discussion. They actually named it “philosophy” class, but I think that’s stretching it a bit. That being said, while they were much more discursive, they were much more into the strict Catholicism there. You kneel during Mass. The entire school says a prayer together in the same room. Religion is integrated into the other classes more.

D: Did you get more exercise in expressing your views at Tolton?

B: Yes, definitely, and I love Tolton for that.

D: When you did that, what kind of response did you get from teachers?

B: Mostly they were just confused. I don’t think they were expecting this, especially in the first year, and I don’t think they knew what to do.

D: So what would they do?

B: They mostly just let me go on my tangents and then moved on. [laughs]

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​Unnamed Girl
Senior
Previously attended: Immaculate Conception School, Jefferson City, Mo.

Derek: What was your experience like at your Catholic grade school?

Unnamed Girl: I feel like we didn’t really acknowledge that there were other religions when we were there. When I went to high school, it was kind of mind-blowing, like there are other religions besides just Catholics going to Catholic school. The grade school was pretty sheltered.

D: Can you tell me how you got to where you’re at as far as your personal religious beliefs?

UG: I was kind of an uber Catholic until last year when I started talking to people who had different beliefs because I was curious. The more they talked to me, the more things started making sense, and Catholic views started making less sense. So I started reading more about it and talking to more people about it. Today I find myself sometimes deist and sometimes atheist.

D: What are some of the things you would read about the issue?

UG: I read “The God Delusion” by Richard Dawkins and “God Is Not Great” by Christopher Hitchens, and they were really influential. It was kind of funny: I went to the library and got about 20 books on different religions in my Helias uniform.

D: Were there any other classes you took before this year where you felt like you disagreed with what you were being taught?

UG: Yes. Every semester at Helias, you’re required to take a religion class, and junior year you have to take morality. The way that class was presented was: “This is what you have to think in every moral situation,” but obviously people have differing views. So when I realized I don’t always think in that way, it made me feel like I wasn’t being a good Catholic.

D: Without labels or names, how would you explain your religious beliefs?

UG: I feel like if there is a god, he has not tried to make contact with us, and I feel like he probably wouldn’t give so much right and wrong. I don’t think that there’s a hell, because why would a loving Christian god want to punish us eternally?

D: Obviously views like this would be controversial to bring up in class, but do you ever get the urge to speak out and bring up this issue?

UG: I really want to, and I feel like my teacher would do her best to give me an answer, but it would be a very one-sided answer, so it’s kind of pointless to bring it up.

D: Do you think there’s another way that a Catholic school could present this information without undermining their own beliefs?

UG: I think they could benefit from just acknowledging both sides of an issue. I think it would be presented better also if they said, “Here’s what Catholics think, not what you need to think.” I think if they went at it with that approach, it would be easier for students from other faiths.